Be There or Be Forgotten: Presence in an Over Connected World
Fundraisers spend a lot of time talking about channels. Email or direct mail? Phone calls or text? Video or in‑person visits?
Those questions matter, but Jerry F. Smith’s first “Rule of the Road” cuts through all of them:
“If you are there, be there.”
It is deceptively simple. When you are with a prospect, give that person your full attention. Do not strategize about the next visit in your head. Do not mentally rewrite another proposal. Do not rush.
In a world where your donors are constantly multitasking, your focused presence is unexpectedly rare – and surprisingly powerful.
Presence is now a differentiator
Today’s donors are used to:
Automated messages.
Mass appeals with first‑name mail merges.
Meetings where people glance at their phones every few minutes.
When a fundraiser sits down – in person or on Zoom – and is clearly all in on this conversation, it stands out.
Presence says:
“You are worth my time.”
“Your story matters here.”
“I am not just here for a gift; I am here for a relationship.”
That is the soil where loyalty grows.
How “being there” builds donor loyalty
When you are fully present with a donor, a few things happen:
You catch the small cues. A pause before they answer. A quick look between spouses. A slight change in tone when a particular program is mentioned. Those cues often tell you more than any wealth screen.
You ask better questions. Instead of racing through your talking points, you explore what they just said. “Tell me more about that.” “How did that experience shape your giving?”
You uncover motivations that are deeper than the project. That is where transformational gifts, and repeat gifts, tend to come from.
Donor loyalty is not built in your database. It is built in conversations where donors feel seen and heard.
Practical ways to “be there” in 2026
A few small practices, drawn from Jerry’s wisdom but updated for our current reality:
Single‑task your donor time. When you are in a donor meeting, close your inbox and silence notifications. If you take notes on a laptop or tablet, name that up front so it does not look like you are multitasking.
Open with them, not you. Instead of launching right into the case, start with questions about their life, their connection to your organization, or what drew them to your mission.
Mirror back what you heard. Before you talk about the gift, try a simple summary: “I am hearing that education and access are at the heart of what you care about. Did I get that right?”
Do not rush the ending. When the scheduled time is almost over, resist the urge to bolt. Ask, “Do you have any questions I have not covered?” A calm close builds far more trust than a flurry of last‑minute talking points.
The irony is that real presence can feel slower, but it often accelerates the relationship. Donors who feel genuinely known are more likely to say yes, and more likely to stay.
If we want donors to “be there” for our organizations year after year, the first move is ours.
We have to be there for them.
